After deliberating back and forth, back and forth for almost a year maybe I finally made the decision and we started trying for another baby.  Although what would’ve been a beautiful and fun time trying really felt more like a job or a duty to me.  Which could be the reason why this month there were no pink lines on the stick.  Although I took one of those “early detection” tests maybe the results were not accurate yet.  I’ll only be 100% sure by next week when I would be late.    See for the past 4 days I’ve been so tired, hungry, nauseated that I thought for sure I was.    I still have mixed feelings, I mean I’m excited at the thought of getting pregnant but then I worry about everything that comes after.   We’ll try again next month.

Edited to add:  I took another test this afternoon.  I swear my eyes are playing tricks on me but if I held the stick in a certain angle there is a very very very very faint line.  Either that or I need to go for an eye exam.  Made hubs go to the store and buy another brand and will take the test again tomorrow. 

Edited again to add: another test taken this morning and it was negative…so I think my eyes were playing tricks on me and giving me the answer I secretly wanted.